Your grass is greener than you think

I’d be happier if…

I’ll be happier when…

If only I had…

It’s easier for them…

You’re lucky…

We hear these phrases a lot. It appears to be part of the human condition that we envy the lives we think others live, especially now in an age of envy-inducing unrealism seen every day on social media. But if wishes really were horses, then a lot of us (especially after the seemingly endless post-covid confinement) would be saddled up and riding off into our fantasy sunset.

Daydreaming about a different life or fantasising about ‘what could be…’ are fine, good even at times when you need to switch off from a difficult situation, but… 

we have to remember that fantasies are not and rarely will be real. That’s the point of them.

At an underwhelming 5’ 2” tall (about 1.58m), I’d LOVE to be taller. I dream of it (often), but it’s NEVER going to happen. I know this but it doesn’t stop me sighing in envy as those with just a few more inches in height look down at me. 

I don’t think my life would be that much better if I were taller (OK, well I do a bit, I am human after all) and so I don’t let it define my self-worth. 

It’s taken counselling, time and coaching but I now live by the idea of:

Change what you can change and have the grace to accept the things you can’t.

Serenity Prayer 

(Even if it makes you feel churlish and you need to have a good sulk about it).

What I do and encourage others to do is move away from the idea that it’s easier for other people. It’s not. Well, it might be, but struggle is relative, and everyone has their own hills to climb. What I do know to be true is that the grass is not greener over there.  

The grass is greenest where you water it.

Make time to look at the state of the grass where you are. It’s easy to dismiss after our home-bound covid experience where we’ve become overly familiar, bored and dismissive about our situation, craving something (anything) new and more. But try to look at your grass with fresh eyes. What do you appreciate about it? What could you appreciate more? What could you do to make that patch of grass grow and be greener? 

Maybe once you think about it for a while, the grass might look pretty good already and just needs a feed to freshen it up.

If you need help seeing how green your grass is, why not try a session of Career Therapy? I can help you assess where you are and help you sow the seeds you need to make your grass even greener.

LinkedIn Louise Newton   
Photo by Ochir-Erdene Oyunmedeg on Unsplash

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